i guess im finally kinda starting to take myself seriously as an artist again. for the past few years, i havent had time for art and when i did have time, i couldnt focus and id just get frustrated and i just couldnt create..but yea, time is no longer a problem and yea, i kinda forgot how good it feels to create. not having to create something on demand feels pretty damn good. i actually thought about a career in marketing / advertising / whatever it's called before, but yea, when it comes to art, i cant seem to shove it into a specific time slot / im not too good with deadlines and if it ever gets too serious, i just back out..maybe im scared of messing up? idk, i dont see creativity being synonymous with seriousness and it certainly isnt something ive been able to use to my advantage. whenever it comes to something that counts (like a grade), i just go blank..or get lazy, heh, but yea, the point is, i just cant do it. ill draw all day if i feel like it, but the next day, i might just not have it in me. or idk, maybe my artists' block is brought on by stress cause i kinda maybe freak out over everything maybe. but yea, now that i dont have to worry about school or work, life is good. it feels good to live life on your own schedule..of course this will have to end soon or ill be under the freeway making "will draw for food" signs, but when it does end, im gonna miss it. a lot.

stay tuned, kids. gnight.